Being Happy Is Our Choice: The Story of a 92-Year-Old Man
There’s a story that has been going around the internet for years about a 92-year-old man moving into a care home. The author is unknown and there are many versions, but the meaning stays the same. I really like it.
The text on the picture reads: “Knowing how to find joy in life is the best way to attract happiness.” (Chinese proverb)
The story is told by a care home worker who welcomes the new resident.
A 92-year-old man who has kept his grace and dignity is neatly dressed, shaved and combed by 8 a.m. every day, despite being completely blind. His wife of 70 years had recently died, and he had to move into a care home. After many hours of waiting in the lobby, the old man smiled sincerely when he heard that his room was ready.
As we walked to the elevator, I started describing his room with its lovely curtains on the windows. “I like it!” the old man declared with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old who has just been given a puppy. “But you haven’t seen the room yet! Wait!”
“It doesn’t matter,” he replied. “Happiness is something you choose ahead of time. Whether I like the room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged. It all comes down to my choice. I’ve decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning. I can spend the whole day in bed complaining about the limits of my body. Or I can get up and be grateful for the abilities I still have!
Every day is a gift, and as long as I’m alive, I’ll pay attention to the good things each new day brings and to the happy memories I’ve collected. Old age is like a bank account: you get out what you put in. So collect as much happiness as you can in your memory bank. Thank you, too, for your deposit into my account. I keep on saving! Live simply. Give more. Expect less.”
What to take from this story
- Decide in the morning. Your mood for the day depends a lot on the thought you start it with: complaining about what you don’t have, or being grateful for what you do.
- Be grateful, and write it down. In 2003, psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough put this to the test: one group of participants wrote down once a week what they were grateful for, while others wrote about their hassles or simply the week’s events. After several weeks, the “grateful” group felt better, and the most consistent effect was a more positive mood.
- Keep filling your “memory bank.” Trips, get-togethers, time with loved ones: the things that keep you warm later, when your strength and options shrink.
- Live simply, give more, expect less. The story’s three rules are easy to remember.
For more simple habits that make life better, see The Right Motivation: 23 Habits.